30 Questions Every Freshman May Be Asking Themselves

A freshman Red Fox recently asked these 30 questions as he headed into his second semester at Marist. So, my fellow writers and I decided to put our heads together and answer them for him.

1. Why does Marian have a community microwave, but no common kitchen?

Are you really using anything but a microwave to “cook” your first year?

2. Why is there no direct path from Lowell Thomas to Hancock?

How else would you be able to get all of your steps in on your fitbit? Also, there is?

3. Why does it feel a walk to Fontaine is in comparison to walking a mile?

Because we are blessed with such a small campus, it is one of the only walks that takes more than 5 minutes!

4. Can someone label which groundhogs are safe to pet?

Well, none of them. But, we did recently celebrate Groundhog Day!

5. Why are there a bunch of cute little houses dotted around campus that we can’t enter?

I hear one of them used to be a barn and now its President Yellen’s office!

6. Why is there always at least two broken washing machines in Leo?

Maintenance can’t fix what they don’t know is broken. Don’t be afraid to report any technical issues, and they’ll be on their way!

7. Why are there no frappuccino being sold in any Starbucks on campus?

There is a full-service Starbucks right across the street!

8. Why can there not be any sledding on campus?

Says who? Laundry baskets and garbage can lids for all.

9. How did Shooter get his name? Isn’t that not what foxes are for: being shot at?

Have you seen his free-throws? Fun fact, Shooter literally did get his name because you “shoot” a basketball.

10. Why are there always such limited ice cream flavors?

Quality over quantity.

11. Why do geese seem to inhabit the campus?

If you were a goose, wouldn’t you want to hang out on our beautiful Marist Beach?

12. Why is Route 9 such a pain in the butt* to cross?

Good thing we have our beautifully lit underpass connecting both sides of campus.

13. Can someone leak Palace Diner’s mac and cheese recipe?

Please.

14. Why has there been so much division on campus?

Unfortunately, not everyone can see that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time and the New England Patriots are awesome. Guess that’s what I get for going to school in New York.

15. Why are the Broadway show lines so long?

Because a $25 ticket for a Broadway show in New York City and transportation to and from is an amazing offer!

16. In addition to the previous question, why can’t the school get their hands on Hamilton tickets?

Does anyone actually know someone who can?

17. What is Antoinette’s secret to making amazing omelettes?

She makes them with love!

18. What makes Ocean State Job Lot so addicting?

Because a college kid’s favorite word is ‘on sale’.

19. Why can nobody ever pronounce Dr. Juris’s last name right (including myself)?

P-U-P-C-E-N-O-K-S

20. Can someone please fix FoxNet?

I hear all of the available computers in the Library are a great resource.

21. Why can’t airport magic carpets exist to get up to Upper Fulton?

Because Marist encourages reaching those 10,000 steps on your fitbit.

22. Why do people choose the wrong times to set the fire alarms off?

We all forget how to make easy mac once in a while…

23. How do we always get our hands on movies way before they come out on DVD?

Shooter knows a guy.

24. Why do people keep throwing toilet paper rolls in the stalls?

Where else would you like us to put toilet paper?

25. Can Marist officially recognize eSports as an actual sport?

How about a club? Click here to do so.

26. Why are Marist sunsets so beautiful?

So everyone has something they can Instagram!

27. Why are all the security guards so nice?

Shoutout the Office of Safety and Security!

28. Why are MCCTA shows so awesome?

Because our Red Foxes are just that talented!

29. Can the movies streamed be updated with more classics?

I guess Shooter is too busy getting his hands on the most recent box office hits.

30. Can I make a permanent residence here?

I’m sure Housing would accept an RD application.

 

Have any other “unanswered” questions you keep asking yourself? Shoot us an email at maristfoxtales@gmail.com and maybe we can help you out!

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